Free Advice

Sky Londa
Population 501
Located in the Santa Cruz Mountains, CA

Every sunny California weekend at the corner of CA 84 and CA 35 bikers, yuppies, townies, and tourists converge. Either for a famed burger at Alice’s restaurant, a couple of beers from the corner mart, or to show off their cars, motorcycles, engines, gadgets, leather, what have you. Many take the opportunity to embrace their high testosterone levels by revving their engines, poppin’ wheelies, or peeling out. I came to give some good ol’ fashion face-to-face free advice.

My beautiful lady friend Julia came up to help with the advice-giving extravaganza. She helped make the “free advice” signs and was ready to drop 30 years of knowledge in the face of advice seekers.

We advertised our advice services by placing our hand drawn signs on telephone poles on Hwy 35 and Hwy 84. I’m not sure they really worked, but they looked beautiful. Imagine driving up a curvy mountainous road, ready to show off or grab a bite, and you see a sign that just says “FREE ADVICE,” not knowing where, when, or why.

I’d love to have overheard some of the conversations that occurred in people’s cars as they saw our advertisements.

“Free Advice, did you see that?”
“Yeah, what the hell?”
“Mmm, wonder what that’s all about?”
“Probly one of those mountain hippie types trying to sell some sort of powdered vitamin formula.”

I parked my RV on a very prominent high traffic corner, posted a few signs on the RV, set-up a table and chairs, and was ready for some serious advice giving.

I think the pink balloons really helped the whole process.

My first visitor wasn’t actually a visitor but was more of an admirer at a safe distance – across the street, behind a hedge, and surrounded by his friends. I decided to go to him. Thinking this would probably break the ice for the rest of the onlookers.

I asked if he needed any free advice. He replied, “Well…let me think…yeah. What advice do you have for me?”

I asked him a series of questions, “What’s going on in your life? Do you have a partner? Do you have money problems?”

That was the question, “Yes, I don’t have much money, how can I make a quick buck?” he queried.

I told him to start his own advice station next to ours, charge $2 a pop, and call it “Better Advice.” That elicited a chin scratch, a hearty laugh, and a “mmmm… maybe I will do that.”

I eagerly waited, but my competition never came to fruition.

Next a gentleman crossed the street and asked us what he should do about his daughters. He pointed to them across the street seated in his parked convertible.

“My one daughter, who is ready to turn 14 isn’t hungry and wants to go home. She’s at that rebellious age you know. My other two younger daughters want to eat and go hiking. I wanna make them all happy and spend the rest of the day together. What should I do?”

As he was wrapping up his question, his children joined us and put in their two cents. A lot of information was floating around and this became a tough question for me. As kindergarten teacher and one who is skilled in the fine art of “dealing with children,” Julia had the answer. She suggested they order some to-go food at Alice’s and walk down to the nearby lake and eat. After that they could all go home.

It worked – sort of. The two younger ones got wrapped up in drawing and didn’t want to leave. The older man ended up leaving with the eldest left his other two behind. He actually left his kids with us – amazing! We suggested they go with their dad. After a few sighs they ran along.

Next.

A few bikers came over for some advice. The one (pictured top) was having a little dilemma, “Should I leave California, where I’ve spent my whole life, and move to Olympia, Washington?” he asked.

After a series of back and forth Q&A’s, the answer was definitely “yes” as long as he was able to convince his wife and daughter.

It was hoppin’ now. Lots of folks were just curious and wanted to say hi, others didn’t know what to ask, some congratulated us, and others just pretended to ignore the whole thing. From what a man should do about his upcoming court case to what to do about a bad case of sunburn, we advised.

A jeep pulled up and without even getting out they shouted, “We need some advice.”

We walked over to the car and peeked our heads in, “yes.”

“We were just wondering why it is so hard, with so many single people in the Bay Area, to really connect and find a partner.”

Collectively we decided that it really isn’t easy to intimately connect with people. Folks change jobs more frequently these days, they move more often, they prefer computer love over face-to-face, and actively avoid chance encounters. Additionally, since the cost of living is so high in the Bay Area relative to the mean income, people have to work more jobs. That can wear a person down.

They eventually got out of their car and chatted with us for quite some time. The gentleman, Karsten, e-mailed me once he got home and said he really liked the project and enjoyed the open exchange of ideas.

It is fascinating how people will open themselves up to a total stranger. You should try this project in your hometown. Make a couple signs and go to the mall, or a busy parking lot, or in front of a convenient store – someplace with traffic – and give out some free advice. It is really rewarding.

I guess we, the readers and writer of this blog, could do some advice swapping using the comment portion of this blog. Post your question and others can post back a reply. Just a thought.

Anyhow, here’s a picture of Julia during some downtime at the advice station.

As a side note, today I found out that I’m officially broke. My bank account almost conversely matches the population of Sky Londa, – $ 517 and my credit card is maxed out. I’m really in the red, and this is a bit of a dilemma. I guess I need some advice – what should I do for money while simultaneously continuing the dinner tour?

Thanks in advance.