A couple of months after moving into my new place, I found myself in a real pinch – my shower was being taken over by scummy soap snot. It totally engulffed my nice bar of soap and was getting all over my shampoo bottles. I seriously bet soap scum was the big idea behind The Blob!

I refused to go out and buy a soap holder for my shower – who really likes buying those silly things, and don’t we have enough stuff around as it is? I was pretty broke too.

But not broke enough to afford myself a nice piping hot cup of coffee from the local Cuban Bakery. They served their coffee in styrofoam cups – bad, bad, bad. So I began saving them thinking I’d do something with them someday. Indeed I did – I made myself a soap holder! I cut the bottom off the cup and cut two little slits in it for drainage, and shizzam, a soap holder.

I have been using this little invention for about eight months and miraculously there is absolutely NO soap scum at all! I have no idea how it happens, but I always have a nice fresh, scum free bar of soap with only the occasional curly hair intruder. And no soap scum underneath it! Incredible!

Now don’t go out and buy a 50 pack of styrofoam cups. Find one, save one you HAD to use, or borrow one from a friend. Simply cut the bottom off at about 2″ high, cut two 1/4″ slits in the very bottom and leave them hanging like little slides, put the big opening down first, and set your soap on the slitted side. Done. Now you can have one of the best inventions of the 21st century in your home.

[tags]soap holder styrofoam invention marc horowitz awesomeness[/tags]

italktotedkoppel.com
imnotjohndelorean.com

these names may mean nothing to you, but I’ve been obsessed with these two characters for most my life. Why? Why did anyone watch Dallas and Falconcrest back to back? It’s just that way (…my mom made me).

Here are the only attributes that come to mind when thinking about these guys.

ted koppel’s hair

and the coke filled doors of the dmc-12

[tags]john delorean de lorean ted koppel hair falconcrest dallas http://www.italktotedkoppel.com http://www.imnotjohndelorean.com marc horowitz[/tags]

I’m making this for a show that I’m having in Italy this summer. Anyone know anything about fuses??

[tags]smokebomb smoke bomb sculpture[/tags]

[tags]fang cat fangcat marc horowitz[/tags]

“hey everyone! I’m from the future. Don’t eat healthy foods, they’re the actual cause of death.”

brought to you by McDonalds-WalMart-Starbucks Inc.

[tags]corporate sponsored fish future mcdonalds marc horowitz healthy foods[/tags]

Toilet Seat Covers – Why are they so pathetic!??!! I remember when I saw my first toilet seat cover – I thought, ” finally I will never have to lay down toilet paper again!” Wrong – 8 times out of 10 I usually resort to the old fashioned method of carefully placing pieces of TP round the seat.

Those damn covers always rip when you try to get them out of the perforated box. Then you have to carefully tear out the center part, and once you get that all worked out on your 2nd or 3rd try, you have lay it down just right or the center part starts taking water too fast and the whole damn thing sinks into the bowl. To top that, at the sort of establishments I hang out, there is usually no lock on the stall door, making it a bit more urgently painful. And god knows whose what sort of rump has touched that seat before mine!

Here are a few techniques that you may wish to consider if you are suffering from toilet seat cover frustration:

Make a rubber seat cover and carry it with you.
Lacquer your ass.
Use the hover technique.
Ask management to install Turkish toilets.
Hold it in using a cork or sheer will.
Use my newly patented pending NIKE AIR TOILET and never again sit on a dirty seat.

(I’m trying to get Nike to sponsor this, then I can put a swoosh on the side – The Nike Air Toilet!!! Awesome. If you know anyone over there let me know)

But really in the end, what are you going to get from a toilet seat anyhow? As Columbia University’s Health Promotion Program sums it up: “Because toilet seats are not major culprits in spreading disease, paper or plastic seat covers offer little more than peace of mind. In fact, you have more to fear from bathroom door handles and faucets than from commodes.”

So all this for nothing.

[tags]toilet seat covers marc horowitz nike air poop pee dirty columbia university health promotion program[/tags]

If you can’t afford a pool, we’ll build you a fake gold mine shaft entrance. That way it looks as if you have something really important going on and there absolutely is no time for a pool.

Your neighbors will think you’re gonna be rich, the kids will forget all about the idea of a pool, and you can finally hold family events at your house, impressing everyone due to your new found fortune.

Bring one of the most popular 19th century landscaping ideas into the 21st century.

Don’t miss this GOLDEN opportunity. If you call within the next 9 days, we’ll throw in a free burro and ten feet of rail.

[tags]marc horowitz home decorating fake gold mine shaft entrance 21st century[/tags]

Here’s how it works: Someone would open the suitcase and a fan would fill a big bag and it would quickly engulf the whole room forcing everyone to leave. Someone may get trapped, that is the excitement, being 1/10,000 over the threshold of safety with this project. So in a way it’s way better than any car chase movie you’ll see.

[tags]suitcase, patrons, art, marc, horowitz, big, fan, bag, air, science, fun, car, chase, movie, 1/10000[/tags]

[tags]marc horowitz pen sword mighty awesomeness[/tags]